There goes the "Bao Pass Scheme" for vehicle inspections, said my buddy, Ryan, when I told him that the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau (CPIB) had begun a probe on vehicle inspectors for bribery.
"Bao Pass" means "Sure to Pass Inspection".
According to news reports, the vehicle inspectors were suspected of closing one eye (and sometimes even both) to illegally modified cars.
Car modification is very popular here, despite the almost draconian laws we have in Singapore against any kind of Boy Racer mods. I believe the popularity of modding one's car comes from the sheer price of cars here. I mean, if you paid what is the GDP of a small Third World country for your ride, wouldn't you want to customize it to your tastes? After all, you are going to be paying off that car loan for the next seven to 10 years of your life. What's a few thousand more dollars for a bad-boy exhaust or tinted windows, right?
But this is Singapore and we have rules and rules must be followed or the sky will fall and the space-time continuum will rupture, thereby unleashing anti-matter that will consume our very souls.
I laugh at the things I used to do to my car, when I owned one. Sport rims, spoilers, exhausts big enough to stuff a small animal into... all the fun stuff a young man spends his hard-earned money on.
I remember my army mates telling me about their cars. One chap had a Daihatsu Charade or Toyota Starlet, I can't remember which, and the engine was upgraded from a 1.3 liter model to a 1.5 liter one. I asked him how it passed inspection and he laughed, saying his mechanic would swap out the illegal engine with the correct one before its once-a-year inspection.
In Malaysia, things seem somewhat looser. I knew of a relative who was driving a Malaysia Jaguar with a Honda Accord engine inside.
Proton cars are often heavily modified there. Proton Wiras, for instance, are often fitted with Mitsubishi Evo III, or even IV and V, engines.
I doubt if many modders consider whether their car chassis can take the additional stresses from a more powerful engine. I bet they forget about the brakes too. 'As long as my car can fly like a bullet, I'll worry about whether I can stop later,' seems to be the thinking.
I wonder how Singapore's cops cottoned on to the shenanigans of the vehicle inspections. Maybe they started spotting too many Subaru WRXs with gigantic exhaust pipes that looked illegal but the owners still managed to present an inspection certificate that says it is an approved exhaust pipe.
"Mister, are you sure this exhaust pipe is legal?" a cop may have asked.
"Of course, officer! I got cert! See?" the driver may have cheerfully waved.
"I have never heard of a Subeeru exhaust pipe brand though."
"Oh, that is their subsidiary! My car is a special edition Subeeru WXY!"
In the old days, any kind of exhaust pipe modification was illegal. Things were simpler. A cop saw your oversized exhaust (or he heard it first) and it was an immediate fine. You had to pay to get it replaced with the original part, and you had to pay to send it for re-inspection too.
These days, things are more complicated. Some aftermarket upgrades are allowed, as long as they are on the approved list, and not every police officer can tell if that exhaust pipe is kosher or not, unless he is also a car enthusiast.
Also, in the old days, tinting of windows was not allowed. Then people pointed out that having these fancy films on car windows could cut down on heat coming in, and reduce the car's air-conditioner consumption. To save the earth, tinting was thus allowed, as long as the rear windscreen and windows allowed at least 25% of light to come through, and for the front windscreen and windows, 70%.
Many car owners interpreted this as "I can tint the windows as dark as humanly possible" and soon, cars with black windows could be seen on the roads (some with curtains too, for added, ahem, privacy). One guy interviewed by the papers said darker windows made his black car look nicer. Completely transparent windows spoiled the look, he said, while admitting in the same breath that it did kind of hamper his ability to see clearly at night. It just took him a few nights to get used to driving in the dark.
It is almost Darwinian, this train of thought.
Perhaps drivers of such cars can hang a sign outside their vehicles just after their tinted window upgrade: "Driver may not be able to see you for the next few nights". That way pedestrians can know to stay away.
I am told that tinted windows were not allowed in Hong Kong in the past, for different reasons. Police officers would not be able to tell if they were approaching a dark-windowed car filled with Secret Society gangsters armed to the teeth.
I am sure that after this vehicle inspector corruption probe, Singapore roads will see fewer cars with spoilers that look like they came from the wings of a Boeing 747 or headlamps bright enough to melt glass.
Maybe drivers of illegally modified Singaporean cars can consider parking their cars across the Causeway. They can hang out with the Brudderhood of Modified Protons, Malaysia Chapter.
Better be careful, their 300bhp Proton "Evo III"s may kick your asses. Just don't challenge them to stopping.
Editor's Note: Say What? with Singapore's mrbrown is a regular CNNGo column by Singapore blogger, mrbrown. The self-declared "accidental author" of the hugely popular mrbrown.com website, he's been documenting and commenting on the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. Visit his website at www.mrbrown.com.
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